Every babysitting arrangement has two adult sides, the worried parent and the busy babysitter. Having been on both sides I know that every parent wonders how the sitter really feels about them and their kids and every babysitter wonders about pretty much nothing unless something is wrong. The fact is that as parents it is easier to picture a babysitter giving our child loving care if we feel liked and if we feel out child is liked. Without that we are left wondering if the babysitter is going to duct tape them to a chair in front of the TV and stay on the other side of the house.
While babysitters generally do like kids, it isn't unheard of for them to dislike one in particular. Unfortunately, unless this is your kid:
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| Fuck Naps |
(S)He has been great all day....
In all the time you have been a parent have you ever had a single day since they learned to walk that you didn't have some small correction to make? No? Well, that is perfectly normal. Kids are learning what to do and how to do it and honestly sitters probably see better behavior than you, so when you hear this don't feel like there are things you aren't being told. Sitters can't spend an hour after pickup explaining to you that this one time they had to remind your child not to pick their nose or this one time they snatched a toy.
So today we had a little problem and (s)he had a time out....
This one is pretty tricky because it means either that the sitter's policy is to always tell you if a punishment was used or it means that your kid is a jerk. Both of those do happen, so it is up to you to find out if there is a real behavior problem, clash with the sitter, or if the sitter just wanted you to know so you could ask questions if you want.
I know I said I was available for late pickup, but...
When your sitter started out very enthusiastic and flexible but seems to slack off on energy and willingness to have your kid there for extra time you have to wonder what is going on. On one hand, sitters are people, too, but then again how do you know if some kind of clash isn't at the root of it? Questions like why can't you do the hours or is this a permanent change are helpful here.
So what do you do?
The easiest way is to ask questions. Ask the sitter questions, ask your child questions if they are verbal, and ask yourself questions. If the sitter says they were great all day confirm that there were no time outs. Ask the sitter if their policy is to tell parents about discipline. Ask the sitter if there is any action you could take at home to make the day smoother. If the sitter goes into a tirade and demands a whole change in home life that is a clue. If the sitter dismisses you and doesn't communicate that is a clue. If the sitter seems super cheerful and happy to see your kid and the kid look confused that is a huge red flag that the sitter is behaving differently than the kid expected.
The most important question is probably are you comfortable? As a parent being worried about a sitter comes from two things: Being nervous with a new person caring for your child or noticing red flags that make you nervous when you wouldn't be. Good babysitters can be hard to find, especially for daily care, but you won't offend us by asking where your kid got a bruise or why they were crying or what happened in the day. A good babysitter understands your concerns and will not take it personally or as an accusation. Most importantly, a good babysitter will have answers for those questions.
BTW...
The originally question to answer was does the sitter actually like your child. The answer is probably yes, but if they don't your kid won't like them either.
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