The Unwilling Eater - How to Make a Kid Eat Real Food Instead of Cupcakes

     Most children go through phases where they just don't want to eat anything except a very select few junk food items.  For your kid it might be cupcakes, fast food french fries, potato chips, or carpet lint. Whatever their thing is it is guaranteed to not be healthy.  How do we get past that?

"So you say that one of these options doesn't
actually count as food?"

     Ideas that are bad are easy (tie them down and pry their teeth apart with with a chisel is one), but what about if you are determined to find an idea that not only gets food in their stomach but also helps them develop life long good eating habits?  Read on for some personal experience and possibly some inspiration.

So we kick it off with a logical explanation...

   "Well insert-a-picky-eater-name-here, we have to eat healthy food if we are going to grow up strong and healthy.  You might like it if you just try my weird super healthy dish that contains at least one food from each food group except fats and contains no salt or flavor in general...."  is a tempting first approach.  We like to assume that the fruit of our very loins would obviously be bright enough to logic through food issues.  We also like to think that we are the boss and our kids know it.  We are wrong on both counts.

     No kid is bright enough to overcome the fact that the food is gross with the logic of nutrition, which the above described food would be, and no parent is enough of a boss that we can erase the memories of delicious junk food through will power alone.  When we throw in that whole "you might like it" bit we further undermine our credibility because our brilliant children do have enough logic skills to label us potential liars for the rest of our life.

So how about rewards and consequences...

     "You have to sit here until you eat it.  You can either sit here and stare at the food or you can go play with everyone..."  We say this as our blood pressure rises and we really want to forfeit the battle but we know we can't.  We imagine that this line makes the choice obvious, but sometimes it doesn't.

Not the face of a kid that takes the easy way out

     We usually go through this particular scenario with kids that are too small for any kind of serious long-term consequences.  Most kids this small won't have a cell phone we can take away and beating children doesn't usually make them like broccoli (if it does beware of brain damage, report yourself to CPS now for the good of all).  So what do we do if it doesn't work?  Time to bring out the secret weapon:

Surrender, but pretend you aren't...

     If you are still sitting at that table 2 hours later maybe it is time to give in just a little?  You tell yourself that Rome wasn't built in a day and save face by still demanding they eat, but scaling back your demands.  "Okay, if you just take one bite you can go."  

"No, you don't want it?  Take one bite and I will let you paint." as you start setting up easels and paint brushes.

"Okay, if you just taste it you can spit it out if you don't like it and I will give you a soda."

"Okay, if you just touch it with your tongue I will let you paint, give you a suitcase full of cash, and make you a giant birthday cake tomorrow for breakfast."

"Okay, my earlier offer stands and if you take it my head won't pop off and chase you around biting your feet."

I was the one that made the last two offers...

So that means....

     While good eating habits can definitely be a long, slow battle, at least you don't look like her (yet).  As parents the best we can do is try to win one taste at a time, bite at a time, and gradually work our way up to meal at a time.  We might throw in some candy or fast food fries here and there, but we can comfort ourselves by knowing that at least we try.